UBER DRIVERS SHARE THE MOST NSFW THINGS THEIR PASSENGERS HAVE EVER SAID OR DONE

You'd be surprised at the behaviors of these people!


After reading these stories, you probably would feel like the most sober and decent customer one can have in their Uber.

These drivers shared their most weird experiences they had with different customers. The experiences might be thrilling or interesting to us but the hard-work these drivers are putting into their job to tolerate all this, really deserves some appreciation.

1. This guy actually helped the police. Something he should be proud of.

”I picked up two guys one Saturday evening, and they said that they were headed to a bar to hang out. I didn’t think much of it until they got into the car. Something smelled horrible. I couldn’t pinpoint what the smell was though. It almost smelled like spoiled meat or fish.

We didn’t talk much through the ride, other than the usual get-to-know-you conversation. They were pretty short with their answers, so I just let it go and kept the silence.

It got to the point where the smell coming from them was so unbearable that I had to crack a few windows just to air out. As we were nearing their destination, one of the guys said, “You can just drop us off here.” It was a few blocks from where they said their destination was.

They opened the doors and as they were stepping out of the car, they ran. I was really confused. Within a few seconds, I couldn’t see them anymore. I looked at the back seats to my car only to find bloodstains on the seat. I thought it looked really suspicious, so I called the police. They looked at my car and asked me more details. The police told me that there was a woman who was killed earlier today, and the suspects were 2 middle aged men. I described them and they matched the descriptions perfectly.

The police called for backup and started searching the whole area, and it turns out that the guys were caught a few hours later.”

2. This driver has some left for his imagination.

”I Picked up this very tall and somewhat muscular looking black girl carrying what looks like a tackle box. She was dressed somewhat … risque. Gets in the car and I said hello, she responds with a pretty deep voice. We started the trip and she was telling me that she was on her way to do makeup for one of her friends, and her phone rang.

She answered the call, and it started off pretty standard, I wasn’t really paying attention. Suddenly I just hear “Girl, what’re you worried about? You have a great lookin’ clit.”

Hmmm. Alright then. Where’s this going? “No, Derek is super sweet, it’ll be fun I promise.” “No girl, he’s just gonna come through the doors…” “Yes I’ll be there. I’ll be outside the doors as one of the topless guards. Anyway, he’s going to pan through doors, focus in on you on the bed. Just start playing with yourself, nothing you haven’t done before.” “Yes, after a few minutes of doing that you call for the guards, and I come in and we fuck.” “Yes I brought the strap-on, it’s in the makeup box.”

And that’s the story of the person planning their porno during an Uber ride…”

3. This driver knows the importance of customer’s satisfaction.

”We have a driver here who has been advertising on Craigslist and has his girlfriend ride in the back seat and arranges specific pickups so she can give you a hand job during your trip.”

4. At least he got 5 stars

”My friend told me about a couple who got into his car. They were slightly drunk talking nonsense to each other so he didn’t pay much attention, just kept driving and occasionally checking on them through the rearview mirror. Eventually, the girl got quiet so he checked in the mirror and didn’t see her, and my innocent friend thought she was asleep and even laughed about it with the guy. Well, not long after that he passed a speed bump and heard the guy saying “oh shit!” at the same time a gurgling sound was heard and a smell of booze+sour filled up the whole car.

So yeah, the girl was sucking off her boyfriend/whatever, the speed bump caused her to deep throat and vomit all over the backseat and my poor friend still had to drive around with a vomit smelling car. At least they rated him 5 stars.”

5. Luckily he has cash to clean the shit.

”Not me but a friend who also drives in my city picked up this drunk girl on her bachelorette at 8 pm on a Saturday night. She was going like four blocks but was so drunk she passed out the second she sat down.

He pulls off and about 30 seconds later she shits in her sleep. She’s wearing very short shorts so it just falls out both sides.

Being that she’s passed the fuck out, he drives her to her hotel anyway (with the windows down trying not to vomit).

When he gets there, she kinda wakes up, and in the process of getting out manages to smear shit on his back seat, on the back of the front seat, on the inside roof, on the outside roof, and on the door.

She says sorry, throws him $20, and disappears.

Uber gives him $250 to clean his car, charged to the shitter. They next day he gets an email from Uber saying she called them all pissed off because why did she have to pay a soilage charge when she already gave him $20 to get the car cleaned?”

6. How miserable it would be to see the same customer all the time; this driver knows.

”Same friend, 3 occasions over a year.

  • Guy was drunk and pulled his pants off and started playing with himself.
  • Girl decided she was happy and pulled her top off for her other friend that wasn’t so drunk to feel her up, friend apparently flipped out.
  • Guy passed out drunk so he checked and his pulse was low, took him to the hospital, turned out the guy was overdosing on Xanax and alcohol, and he saved his life.”
7. This gets creepy

”I picked up a client who said he was on his way to the hospital to get “something” removed. It was very clear by his movements that he had something stuck in his ass. I asked if he needed an ambulance instead but he said he didn’t have insurance so he couldn’t afford it. After I dropped him off and helped him in, I got back in the car and looked back to find a blood stain on the seat.

The morals of the story are 1.) If you’re poor, don’t shove things in your ass that can get stuck. 2.) Never get light grey upholstery in your new car.”

8. The girlfriend with the hooker. Good one!

”I picked up a guy and a girl midday Saturday for a short ride (couple of km). The girl seemed drugged out of or her mind and was wearing somewhat revealing clothing, so it was pretty clear they’d been partying the night before. While driving I picked up their conversation which they were not even attempting to hide. It was pretty clear that the guy had a girlfriend who was not the girl in the car and that he had just hooked up with this girl. They were currently heading to his girlfriend to explain what had happened. To be clear, he is bringing the girl he was unfaithful with along to explain to his girlfriend that he just fucked her. He tipped well though.”

9. Best Ride Ever!

”I picked up a couple in their thirties on St. Patrick’s Day this year at 2 AM. They wanted to take about a 35-mile drive at 6.3x surge, so I was about to give the third highest paying fare I’d ever given, great way to end the night!

They had clearly been drinking like they were 20-somethings since early in the day. The wife (in the front seat) was super apologetic for the first five minutes or so, completely embarrassed about their level of intoxication, while the husband (in the back) was trying to be my new best friend. After five minutes or so though, the Sandman paid them a visit, and they both passed out. I drove for the next 20 minutes in relative peace.

When we arrived in their driveway, the husband was sound asleep, and they had a half inch of wet snow in their driveway, so I took the wife inside first. While on the way in, she upended her purse in the snow, but I was more focused on getting her safely inside.

But wait, there’s more…

Once we got in, I helped her to the bathroom, and then went to the garage to get a snow shovel. I cleared a 4′ wide path from the garage to the car, so I could get the husband inside (he’s a bigger guy, and I wanted to be safe) and finally got him awake. I gave him my shoulder and got him inside. He begged me “please, just get me to the recliner, I can’t make it to bed” so that’s where we headed. All the while the wife is throwing up with the force of a small waterfall in the bathroom.

I ran outside and grabbed the contents of her purse, which included her phone (absolutely soaked at this point) and came back inside. She begged me to rice her phone, so I started to dig through her cupboards for a bag and rice. While digging I came across their meds, and pulled some EDIT: Advil (absorbed by kidneys) for them. I riced her phone then gave them both Advil and water and told them to take more in the morning, they were gonna need it. Then I locked the door and showed myself out. In the end, I was dropping them off for well over half an hour, but the fare was awesome and the day was my second best day of driving, so it didn’t really bug me.

The kicker? They left me a 5-star review the next day: “Pretty OK guy.”

Best ride ever.”

10.  A Deer? Seriously?

”I had a passenger roll down the window and scream “SUCK MY FUCKING DICK” at a deer. She said she really didn’t like deer.”

11. There should be charges for therapeutic consultancy!

”Oftentimes you have to play therapist for drunk customers, they will lay out very personal details about their lives to you. One customer told me about how her ex-husband has been hospitalized several times due to complications from alcoholism, and that they told him that the next time he comes in, he’ll likely die. She told me that she really hopes that the father will die before her 17-year-old son turns 18 because she doesn’t want him to have the responsibility of having to decide to pull the plug.”

12. That must be mind boggling

”A few months ago this lady came into my car whilst busily talking on her phone: “Yeah you can’t tell anyone on the team yet. No no, I haven’t told anyone at all.”

I was secretly eavesdropping, as I usually do, trying to figure out what kind of job she had.

“The details are kinda gruesome. The poor thing was lying there for a while after it happened because there was no one around. These bastards took everything from her and tried to steal her car but they apparently ran over her and they just booked it. Her body was practically split in two under one of the wheels. It was only a couple hours later someone saw it and called us. She was still alive when we got there. Hey, listen I gotta go. We’ll talk more soon.”

We had reached her destination: church. She got out of the car with a quick thank you.”

13. The mystery

”It’s about 10:30 pm. I get a request and accept it. It’s a 20-something-year-old girl just getting off work at a retail clothing store. She needs a ride to her home, about 35 minutes outside the city limits. Cool, long ride = more money. Get to her house, she gets out and I drive away. Now, I’m about 25+ miles away from the city so I don’t really expect to get any hits out there. I’m about to head back in when I get another request. This one is another 30 minutes further outside the city limits. Hmm…maybe this person wants to go downtown. That’s an hour long ride = $$$. I’m down. Start heading their way. It’s a beautiful night so I cruise the whole way with my windows down.

Long, winding, narrow roads. No street lights for miles. Finally, I come across the property. It’s a ranch-style place. I turn in. Still no lights. Pitch black. I drive in for about two miles with no signs of a house. I’m doubting my GPS at this point. Oh well, I’m already this far. Keep going.

Oh cool, a house! No lights on. Something doesn’t seem right. I swing my car around to face the exit, leave my car in drive and rest my foot on the brake, just in case, and waited for a while. Nothing. Let me give the guy a call.

He answers. Sounds confused.

“Hey, I’m your Uber driver, I’m outside. Take your time, I’m here whenever you’re ready.”

“Uber? I didn’t request a ride.”

“Hmm? I’m at ###XXXXX, Texas. Your address and information comes up on my app.”

“Texas? I’m in Indiana. I’ve never been to Texas. Please don’t charge me.” Hangs up.

In that moment, I felt the already pitch black night get darker. I turn down the radio. My window was still open and so I started listening.

You know that sound of a dirt road when somebody is walking on it? How it crunches and you can hear every step? Imagine that sound, but there are two sets of feet. And they’re running. Getting louder. I look out my rear view mirror and the only light is from the red parking lights of my car.

Two men. All black clothes painted red by my brake lights. Sprinting. Getting closer. Getting louder.

I slammed on the gas, my car threw pebbles and rocks at them as I semi-burned out and I hauled ass as fast as I could out of that property. Got back on that winding road, followed it all the way to a well-lit gas station, shifted to park, and sat there, stunned. What just happened?

I tried following up with Uber. Nothing really came of it. To this day I’ll always have to wonder what happened that night.”

14. Cousins? Seriously?

”I had a fare where two drunk people who were making out in the back of my cab. This isn’t unusual on its own, happens quite often, just gotta stop them before shit gets out of hand.

Well, one of them decides to stop making out and says to me” Don’t tell anyone, okay?”. Curious, I ask why, he responds “we are cousins and we don’t want our family to find out”…then they went back to making out again. I didn’t once think they could have possibly been cousins, never saw either people before or after. Could have just kept his mouth shut and I’d never have known, Why would you disclose that information to a stranger?”

15. At least he tipped well!

”I picked up a drunk couple from a bar. As soon as they got in the car, the woman was telling me about the cocaine they just did in the bathroom.

She then went on to tell me that she was his maid and they were fucking and his wife didn’t know. She would wear the wife’s lingerie. Also, she was screwing around with the wife.

I was taking them to the guy’s secret apartment where he did cocaine and screwed his maid.

He felt a little bad for me, so he gave me all the cash that he had as a tip… Seven dollars. I guess he spent it all on coke.”

16. The lady has got some guts

”Picked up a group of young ladies during a bachelorette party. The bride to be sits in the front and while driving to their destination, she rolls down the window and whips out a giant dildo for all of downtown to Chicago to see.”

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UBER DRIVERS SHARE THE MOST NSFW THINGS THEIR PASSENGERS HAVE EVER SAID OR DONE